Funny but True Quotes About Relationships
Sure, well-written, genuine quotes about falling in love are all good, but what if you're someone who cringes just a tiny bit at an earnestness overload? Doesn't mean you're not a romantic, just that you prefer your aspirational text with a dash of humor (perhaps even sarcasm).
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Luckily, there are plenty of TV moments, celeb tweets, and iconic rom-com scenes that deliver the laughs as much as the "Awwwws." Here are 35 love quotes that do it all:
1. This Friends classic.
"She's your lobster. Come on, you guys. It's a known fact that lobsters fall in love and mate for life. You can actually see old lobster couples, walking around their tank, you know, holding claws." –Phoebe, Friends
2. This solid game plan.
3. This perfect compliment.
"I don't think you're an idiot at all. I mean, there are elements of the ridiculous about you. Your mother's pretty interesting. And you really are an appallingly bad public speaker. And, um, you tend to let whatever's in your head come out of your mouth without much consideration of the consequences... But the thing is, um, what I'm trying to say, very inarticulately, is that, um, in fact, perhaps despite appearances, I like you, very much. Just as you are." –Mark Darcy, Bridget Jones's Diary
4. This sound advice.
"Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are." –Will Ferrell
5. This tender moment.
–The Office
6. This very huge plus to getting hitched.
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7. This high praise.
"He's like a brilliant, sexy little hummingbird." –Leslie (about Ben), Parks and Recreation
8. This roadmap to a long marriage.
"We have a couple of rules in our relationship. The first rule is that I make her feel like she's getting everything. The second rule is that I actually do let her have her way in everything. And, so far, it's working." –Justin Timberlake, US Weekly
9. This iconic realization.
"What does she want with Josh anyway? He dresses funny, he listens to complaint rock, he's not even cute in a conventional way... I mean, he's just like this slug that hangs around the house all the time! Ugh! And he's a hideous dancer, couldn't take him anywhere. Wait a second, what am I stressing about, this is like, Josh. Okay, okay......so he's kind of a Baldwin. What would he want with Ty, she couldn't make him happy, Josh needs someone with imagination, someone to take care of him, someone to laugh at his jokes in case he ever makes any...the suddenly....Oh my god! I love Josh! I'm majorly, totally, butt crazy in love with Josh!" –Cher, Clueless
10. This A+ excuse to make out.
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–Brooklyn Nine-Nine
11. This long-term relationship truth.
"Spend a few minutes a day really listening to your spouse. No matter how stupid his problems sound to you." —Megan Mullally
12. This not-real, but totally real saying.
"Molly: You gotta f*ck a lot of frogs to get a good frog.
Issa: That's not the saying. Or any saying." –Insecure
13. This lovely monologue.
"So, Amber, you're separated from your mate, huh? I know how you feel. Not that Topanga's my mate or anything, I just believe she is. It's funny, though, you know, when people tell you to get on with your life, go date, there's plenty of other fish in the sea... Like I need to tell you. But, you see, we know that once you've met that special person, it's hard to live, knowing they're out there, and they're the only one you care about. All those things I did, I wasn't just trying to impress her. I just didn't know how to express my feelings. Well, at least I tried, you know? And now, I'm talking to a fish." –Cory, Boy Meets World
14. This universal standard for a good husband.
15. This ideal proposal.
–The Simpsons
16. This self-aware jab.
"I am a very committed wife. And I should be committed, too—for being married so many times."–Elizabeth Taylor
17. This mantra to live by.
"A girl can wait for the right man to come along but in the meantime that doesn't mean she can't have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones." –Cher
18. This relationship goal to aim for.
"I don't want to hear about the endless struggles to keep sex exciting, or the work it takes to plan a date night. I want to hear that you guys watch every episode of The Bachelorette together in secret shame, or that one got the other hooked on Breaking Bad and if either watches it without the other, they're dead meat. I want to see you guys high-five each other like teammates on a recreational softball team you both do for fun."―Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?
19. This prank (among many) that should be played in a marriage.
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20. This mortifying-but-also-sweet scene.
–Friends
21. This declaration of love.
"Juno MacGuff: I think I'm in love with you.
Paulie Bleeker: You mean as friends?
Juno MacGuff: No... I mean for real. 'Cause you're, like, the coolest person I've ever met, and you don't even have to try, you know...
Paulie Bleeker: I try really hard, actually." –Juno
22. This legit wedding fear.
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23. This mic-drop quote.
"You would think that a rock star being married to a supermodel would be one of the greatest things in the world. It is." –David Bowie
24. This apt metaphor.
"Yes, to the untrained eye, I'm eating an orange. But to the eye that has brains, I'm making a point about marriage. For you see, marriage is a lot like an orange. First, you have the skin. Then the sweet, sweet innards." –Homer, The Simpsons
25. This encouragement to live your full, eyebrow-eating truth.
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–Parks and Recreation
26. This confidence-booster.
"I'm glad he's single, 'cause I'm gonna climb that like a tree." –Megan, Bridesmaids
27. This veeeeeery real real-talk.
"Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family." —Chelsea Handler
28. This milestone in any relationship.
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29. This life change, explained.
"Why buy the cow? Maybe because every day the cow asks you when you're going to buy it. And you live in a really small apartment with the cow and you can't avoid that question at all. Also, the cow is way better at arguing than you are … But for real, why buy the cow? Let's be real. Why buy the cow? Because you love her. You really do." –John Mulaney
30. This Miranda line, that like all Miranda lines, speaks to you.
–Sex and the City
31. This proof that the best marriages are a lil' bit boring.
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32. This overachievement to aspire to.
"The first draft of my vows, which I wrote the day after we got engaged, clocked in at around 70 pages." –Leslie, Parks and Recreation
33. This method to consider.
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34. This famous blend of funny and cute:
"I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." –Harry, When Harry Met Sally
35. And this simple quote that says it all.
–The Good Place
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Source: https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a26252528/funny-love-quotes/
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